Greatest Scenes – Clerk – Cure for Heart Attack

This is a new section of the blog where I would be listing some of the most glorious and unforgettable scenes from Old Bollywood films.

These are the scenes which brings out not only cinematic excellence but also a sense of achievement in you. They deserve to be clapped at and seen from time to time to understand how truly great some of our films are. Some of them will have unique acting presentation, some will have earth shattering dance moves and some will have just enough bollywoodish to be admired.

To begin with here is one of the greatest ‘ham’ scene of our times from 1990 blockbuster ‘Clerk’ starring our very own Manoj Kumar, Ashok Kumar, Rajendra Kumar, Rekha, some Pakistani actors and various others forgotten stars.

This is the scene which tells you how to cure a heart attack with a 5 Rs. battery cell and a dose of patriotism. Medical marvel in this scene is to be appreciated and if all our doctors were this smart then India would be a healthy nation today. I really wonder why no one nominated this discovery for nobel prize for that year!! The dialogue delivery, acting and photography is of unique quality.

This film has many other superb scenes worth watching over and over, in fact the whole film directed by Manoj Kumar himself is one big ‘ham’. Strongly recommended.

Watch it and enjoy…

Dum Maaro Dum – Title Track

Here’s the much awaited song ‘ Dum Maarao Dum’ from the upcoming film titled the same. The song is actually called ‘Mit Jaaye Ghum’ and features Deepika Padukone and is set to a remixed version of the original classic tune. The song was released during the India – South Africa game in the ongoing World Cup Cricket at Nagpur

The song set in a smoke filled bar, looks okeyish and Deepika looks hot enough to be called ‘item girl’ now. Hopefully it will do what it is meant to and draw the audience in the movie hall.

Here it is..

Tees Maar Khan – Horrifying Misadventure

Farah Khan’s previous 2 films ‘Main Hoon Na’ and ‘Om Shanti Om’ were inspired from 1970s Bollywood Cinema. In her third outing as director of Tees Maar Khan she mercilessly copies from little known Hollywood film ‘After the Fox’ starring Peter Sellers. TMK is almost an unofficial remake of that movie with of course the Bollywood twists, turns, item numbers and utter nonsense thrown in.

Akshay Kumar plays  Tabrez Mirza Khan or ‘Tees Maar Khan’ who is the most dreaded conman in the world !! He escapes from right under the nose of Police  every time he is caught. As the film progresses he and his faithful hencemen called dollar, soda and burger are given a task of looting Antiques worth crores from a moving train. For this he portrays himself a Hollywood director and decides to hire services on hundreds of innocent villagers on the pretext of making a Film in their village Dhuliya. Katrina Kaif plays the dumb girlfriend who aspires to be an actress in the film. Akshaye Khanna plays a superstar aspiring to win an ‘Oscar’ by doing such a film. The film is shot, villagers are fooled, banks is robbed, ghosts are caught, the loot happens and TMK is caught but once again he escapes in the end. This above paragraph somehow summarizes the story but then there are supposedly comic scenes and spoofs and item numbers and jokes and cliches all in this 2 hour long movie. All kinds of weird acting funny characters are assembled in this film including chief villains being conjoined twins, a bumbling police commissioner, village buffoons of all kind and so on !!

I always trusted Farah Khan to come up with something nice and witty especially as she loves to play tributes and homages to past films and makers and she is as ‘Bollywood’ as one can be without feeling guilty about it. But this time she has gone overboard with spoofing everybody that came to her mind and making spoof after spoof  and over spoofing. It seems either she has run out of fresh ideas and repeating her own cliched ideas of filmy maa, dumb heroine, everybody in village being so glamor struck and dumb etc. She has gone the ‘Priyadarshan’ and ‘Anees Bazmi’  way of making stupid films and then overdoing it or maybe she is just influenced by her not-so-smart husband who is not only the editor, but story writer, music director ( for title song), lyricist, producer and what not for this film. The film tries to mock everybody and everything but unlike her previous film ‘Om Shanti Om’ most of her jokes fall flat and people almost know what is coming even before the joke starts.

There are jokes and there are jokes within jokes and then there is Tees Maar Khan where the joke starts at the beginning and never ends, it goes on and on. Katrina Kaif plays the dumbest heroine you would ever see on film screen and you do not even laugh at her dumbness after a while. You can laugh at Avatar Gill spoofing A.K. Hangal’s blind man act once  but not every time he comes on screen, it gets irritating after a while to see Akshaye Khanna obsessed with the Oscars.  The dialogues like ‘Tawaiif ki lootati ijjat aur TMK ko jail mein rakhna na-mumkin hai’ and ‘ khanon mein khan- tees maar khan’ gets to you after a while. The conjoined villainous twins are ridiculous. There are racial jokes, jokes on poor villagers and crass humor. What on earth was that plot about headless ghost and missing children growing ‘Ganja’ in some jungle and that villager sitting on top of the tree?? The end credits gives ‘ oscars’ to all those who were involved with this film and Farah in the end gets a Filmfare as all Oscar trophies are with her husband !!

Farah Khan who was my choice for Manmohan Desai’s ‘heir apparent’ in Bollywood has clearly disappointed this time. From situational comedies and genuine spoofs she has come down to the level of Golmaals and Housefulls with slapstick comedy. I always thought Farah Khan as a filmmaker was much superior then her weirdo brother Sajid Khan or for that matter most commecial Hindi filmmakers, but after TMK, I need to re-think that.

The film did have an interesting plot to begin with and lot could have been done with it but it seems the makers decided the plot, the funny characters, the dialogues and Akshay Kumar’s charisma would make the film sail. But the dialogues are cliches, jokes are hardly comic, comedy is of slapstick genre and Akshay Kumar’s charisma is fading. Item numbers can only do so much and after watching ‘Sheila ki Jawani’ about 1000 times on various television promos, it hardly registers when you watch it in movie hall, although it indeed is very well choreographed  like most songs by Farah khan are. Katrina Kaif was never a good actress and here she shows how dumb she can be. She is just a glamor doll fit to do roles where she doesnt have to speak. She hams throughout the film. Akshaye Khanna and his horrendous wig,  what is he doing in the film, only he and his fat bank-cheque knows, he is paid to overact at every scene and he succeeds there, overdoing his bit at times  but then his role is meant to be like that.

It is an out an out Akshay Kumar movie, almost a portfolio for things he can do but this time it fails miserably. Akshay Kumar plays the role effortlessly but is so repetitive that people were yawning at some of his cliched lines which he keeps repeating. Akshay Kumar tries to do everything from hamming to overacting and playing it out loud and romantic at the same time. We have been watching this Akshay Kumar show reel in so many of his films that one more attempt looks boring.  Other actors like Arya Babbar, Sachin Khedekar, Ali Asgar are caricaturish. Salman Khan in a small cameo in the ‘wallah’ song almost promises to give some relief and there is no doubt about who is the biggest crowd pull in a theater these days.

Since this is the big holidays season and most people here and everywhere else have nothing better to do, they go out and watch films. Most times films are tailor-made for this season and most times they succeed. This film too might get the large numbers in at the box office and huge amount of money, in fact it has already begun on 100% openings at most places, but as far as cinema goes this film pushes Bollywood 5 years behind. What have you done Farah ?

My Ratings – 4.5/10 –  I am generous because of Christmas

P.S. I heard they have already decided to make a sequel !!.. * faints*

Saat Khoon Maaf – Trailer – Devilishly Interesting !!

Here is the first look of ‘Saat Khoon Maaf’, the film by Vishal Bhardwaj starring Priyanka Chopra in perhaps a career defining role of Sussanna who weds and murders 7 of her husbands !!

The plot is interesting and intriguing. The starcast features the likes of Naseeruddinn Shah, Annu Kapoor, John Abraham, Irrfan Khan, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Vivaan Shah and Aleksander Dyachenko as the husbands , of course the film seems to be belonging to Priyanka Chopra. The music seems to be haunting too.

Watch the trailer and decide. The film releases on Valentine Day 2011.

Band Baaja Baraat – Refreshingly Good

Yash Raj films have been known to produce romantic movies and musicals and NRI romances and wedding videos in the name of films since last few years. Since the advent of DDLJ some 15 years ago it has been doing so and it has been searching for its next DDLJ ever since. Exceptions to this theme have been far and few. Somehow in these last 15 years they have been making the same film over and over with different variations, stars and music. It was relying too much on big shot stars, big directors, big music to make their movies sail through which did work few times but bombed most times. The unreal world of YRF films was crashing and they were not realizing that. The premier bollywood studio, which once never failed at box office, was giving duds after duds and was considered no longer the same powerful studio it once was.

With Band Baaja Baraat, they have managed to break few shackles. The film is a surprise for everybody including I think the bosses of YRF. To begin with the film is set in middle class Delhi and not London or New York. The characters and settings of the film are real, believable and that is a welcome change from Raj and Rahuls we are used to see. The film has a definite story and a decent plot line moving the story. Above all the film has two really good actors who fit the roles perfectly. The movie is a model on a how a romantic comedy needs to be made.

The story is simple and is about a middle class Delhi girl and a roadside Delhi romeo coming togather as business partners as wedding planners. Their meeting is accidental however they join forces together to launch ‘Shaadi Mubarak’ a wedding planning agency set in middle class Janakpuri of Delhi. The initial part of film is breezy and takes you from one wedding to another and slow and steady rise of the duo’s company and making even the simplest of wedding as grand and memorable. The company grows and so does the dreams and the leads graduate from middle class low budget weddings to high society ‘farmhouse’ weddings as they call it in Delhi where budgets run in crores. They succeed with their zeal for hard work, honesty and dedication. Till about the midpoint of the film when the conflict arises the film is real fast moving. The conflict point is not a villain or money or fights but strangely it is love.  The romantic scenes and the love scenes are done in a very non-conventional way, which makes it look and feel real.When the leads fall in love they break the first rule of their ‘binness’ that to ‘never fall in love with your business partner’.  The 2nd half is bit slow as compared to the first and some of the things are quire predictable but still fun to watch. The fights, tantrums and problems which arises from the conflict continue right till the end where of course like true YRF style the leads make up and everything is hunky dory. The finale seems bit stretched but you never feel bored. Do not miss the end credits.

In spite of certain predictive nature of the story it makes you watch it and enjoy mainly because of real life situations, some original hilarious scenes, smartest dialogues you’ll see, wonderful and breezy direction, superb production values with an eye to detailing you are not used to see in mainstream Hindi movies and on top of all the 2 leading actors.  Anushka Sharma as ‘Shrutti Kakkad’ lives the character like she was born to do this. Its her third film, incidentally all 3 with YRF, and she is a revelation as an actress. She is uninhibited, can act well, dance like a breeze in most natural way and makes you feel for her in emotional scenes. Of  course the real surprise packet is new boy Ranveer Singh as ‘Bittoo Sharma’. The guy is unconventional in looks but is a sheer delight to watch on screen. His dialogue delivery, sense of comic timing, dancing and acting skills make you root for his slightly roguish but innocent character. He is the true blue Delhi boy we have been looking for. This certainly is a dream debut for him in a role tailor made for him and I wont be surprised if he wins the best debut actor prizes in most award ceremonies next year.

Before the film released when I saw the promos I didn’t think much of the new actor with his unconventional look but I have to say that I was wrong and I shouldn’t have been prejudiced. Incidentally last time I was prejudiced and then later changed my mind after a film released was during ‘Kaho na Pyaar Hai’ almost a decade ago !!

The film is a true representation of what North Indian weddings and the debut-ant director Maneesh Sharma has captured the true essence of both middle class and high society Delhi. Special mention to dialogues by Habib Faisal for capturing the Hindi tone and words that only Delhites would use. This is the kind of original earthy writing and detailing which has been missing from many of our recent films. The supporting actors are cast so well that they do not look like actors but straight out of a Delhi colony. The music by Salim-Suleimaan is apt and the numbers are foot tapping and makes you want to dance in the aisle. ”Ainvayi Ainvayi’ is for the song of the year and will be a surefire hit in every wedding from now on.

The film is made in very moderate budget and most of the money has already been recovered from Satellite an Music rights so whatever the film earns from box office is a bonus for the producers. The movie surely worked for me and we enjoyed the late night show in middle of a working week and were surprised to find the hall almost full. Nothing works like word of mouth publicity and positive critic reviews.

My Ratings – 9/10 for the sheer North Indian energy and the lead actors. Best rom-com of the year.

P.S. My only worry is that after the success of this film YRF has got enough money now to make few more Uday Chopra films !!!

Item Song of 80s – Yeh Din tau Aaata Hai

Today every 2nd hindi film has an Item Number, which usually involves the film’s heroine or some other special dancer / model/ actress or all of that to gyrate to a fast rhythm dance track mainly to lure the hero/ other character of the film. The song usually does not have much relevance to the actual film’s plot although the makers do try their best to fit the song in the narrative of the film. The song is mostly an up tempo, fast beat song with lyrics being little important.

Of course this tradition of Item songs is nothing new and existed long back in our films. Here is one of the track I heard today,  of course have heard it multiple times in the past and enjoyed it too. Today, while hearing it once again, I realized that this was almost an Item song in the film with no actual connection to the film’s story, although it involves the lead stars only but the song is the film’s Item number.

The song in question is ‘Yeh Din tau Aaata Hai’ from the 1983 film Mahaan starring none other than Amitabh Bachchan in a triple role and featuring the best item girls your money can buy in the 80s, Zeenat Aman and Parveen Babi. This song features Big B and Parveen Babi dancing to the rocking  R D Burman tune. The song is sung by Asha Bhosale and R D Burman himself and is a fantastic upbeat number in true sense. You cannot but tap your feet to it.

Asha Bhosale’s catchy voice is matched by RD’s perfect tone and the music is a mix of Arabian and Indian tunes with generous dose of Disco to match the 80s theme.

Enjoy it once again..This song would clearly give Munnis and Sheilas a run for their money, even today.


Dhobi Ghat – Theatrical Trailer – BEST Promo in a long time !

Here it is. The Theatrical Trailer of one of the most awaited film of 2011, Dhobi Ghat. The film directed by Kiran Rao stars Prateik Babbar in a central role ably supported by the box office magician Aamir Khan. Its a love quadrangle you have never seen before. The film has been appreicated already in various International Film festivals including Toronto International Film Festival in early September 2010.

The promo is one of the best one has seen in recent times an the background music is haunting enough to make you watch it again. The Intoduction of 4 lead characters of the movie is brilliantly done. Cannot wait for this movie. The movie releases on January 21, 2010.

Golmaal 3 – Whats goin on?

Whenever a supposedly comedy Bollywood film releases we get to hear statements like ‘leave your brain behind at home and come’ , ‘do not use logic’ , ‘mindless comedy’ and so on… Why does the comedy in Bollywood films have reduced to collection of gags, cliched jokes, hyper acting, fair amount of slapstick, vulgar double meaning dialogues, lead characters mouthing obscenities and weird action scenes full of crude humor. Why not intelligent comedy with a little bit of wit or smart situations is ever produced in Bollywood is a question to be asked.

However Diwali is not the time for such questions as we have seen over the years. Come Diwali and you have a dose of mindless comedies like ‘Golmaal’ or ‘All the Best’ invading theaters and people watch them to get ‘entertained’. And going by box office results majority in India like such kind of mindless entertainment, so who are we to argue !!


Golmaal 3
is from the same genre of mindless Comedy from the makers of…Golmaal 1 and 2 of course. There is no connection between the 3 films if you discount the lead actors, director, location of Goa, same co-stars, same character actors and similar sounding plots that is. Basically the director Rohit Shetty and producer Ajay Devgn have a set formula for such films. Have the scenic beaches of Goa as backdrop, have co-stars who can produce slapstick humor, yell and scream and dance to the beat, create some mindless plot about absolutely nothing, have paperboard villain characters with even bad sidekicks and thrown in customary stupid cop guy , equally stupid Don characters and then just make them run around from one place to another in the name of a story.

Golmaal 3 takes its basic plot from Basu Chatterjee’s  1978 classic ‘Khatta Meetha’ starring Ashok Kumar and Pearl Padamsee. Here good old Mithun Chakravorty and Ratna Pathak Shah are the ageing parents who get married and forces the fighting batch of siblings that is Ajay Devgn, Shreyas Talpade, Kunal Khemu, Arshad Warsi and Tushaar Kapoor to stay in one house. The first half of film basically leads to this situation. The 2 factions of warring brothers fight and run around doing practically nothing else.

In the 2nd half the family contnues to fight and unite and fights again. In between there is plot of Don Pappi -Johnny Lever who keeps forgetting every 5 minutes ( reference- Ghajini) and his 2 stupid sidekicks ‘ Daga aur Teja’. Then there is stupid cop and stupid don doing their useless acts. and then there is Kareena Kapoor, almost the 6th brother , as the tom-boyish Dabboo ( reference her father Randhir Kapoor) who unites the aging couple and warring brothers and hams to the hilt and a Rohit Shetty film is incomplete without blasting cars, flying jet-skis and everything that comes in a way getting destroyed.

Nothing more can be said about the movie which is full of references to all kinds of movies of the past, actors of the past including a cover version of disco dancer by Mithunda himself but has nothing else or original to show. The movie has almost non-existent storyline or script and is collection of gags at its best. Some of the gags are indeed laughworthy but when you expect people to laugh at a dog named facebook biting Mithunda’s backside then you really have hit the bottom.  The film lives upto its stupidity by constantly making fun of a person who cannot speak and another who stammers.

Ajay Devgn if were not the producer of the film is a misfit for such kind of films but must admit that he does play his slightly ‘director-backed’ role quite well , the grungy look goes with his character but why does he has to walk in slow motion every time he enters the screen ? Kareena Kapoor is decent at times but most times she hams and overdoes her tomboyish act. Shreyas Talpade, Kunal Khemu and Arshad Warsi fit their role and Tushar Kapoor again gets maximum footage with his mute guy act. What on earth made Mithunda do such a role and such a movie, no idea. I am sure Ratna Pathak Shah did this film only for money. This is nothing but a brain-dead movie to say the least.

The box office might give this film a thumbs up and give truckloads of money to the producer mainly because of the Diwali season and lack of much competition for entertainment in the market. The 9 am show on Diwali day was packed and most shows for weekend were sold out. I am just worried that this might inspire the makers to make a 4th part of this series !!

My Ratings –  5/10 Only for some jokes which worked. Watch it as I am sure most of us have nothing better to see.

Anjaana-Anjaani – Strange Stuff

Anjaana- Anjaani stars Ranbir Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra in a journey across America reliving a journey of their life.  The movie directed by Siddharth Anand is ‘inspired’ from several films including a French one ‘Girl on the Bridge’ where the lead characters meet on a bridge while attempting suicide for different reasons and also inspired from ‘The Bucket List’ when they decide to live their last few days of life happily but then like most Bollywood ‘masala’ films they ‘live’ happily ever after. Even the poster of the film was blatantly copied from ‘An Education‘ as pointed out by me previously Here.

The director is confused at times and the storyline has no clear path. The reasons for committing suicide also looks flimsy. Question is When two persons feels ‘low’ enough to commit suicide, how come in next scene suddenly starts celebrating like a teenager in college party ? No logic to the film plot. But then thats how ‘yash raj – dharma- johar’ brand of Bollywood is. They even treat a dark subject like suicide in candy-floss way !! The director is trained in Yash Raj school of film making, so no surprises there.

The Movie is more about chemistry between the lead actors as most romantic movies are. Ranbir acts very natural and suits the role while Priyanka is okeyish but many a times looks unnaturally fake and goes over the top and almost irritating to the core. The movie has absolutely no other characters worth remembering and when wooden Zayed Khan is your surprise, you are in serious trouble. The supporting characters are just there to fill up some scenes. The movie has what every ‘yash raj’ brand of cinema has targetting captive NRI audience.

The locales of major USA cities and highways is nicely captured and the movie at times looks like a travel guide across America but was so boring that I was hoping for Shah Rukh Khan from My Name is Khan to show up on one of the roads asking for lift.  There is customory Las Vegas Casinos, Golden Gate Bridge and New York skylines. There is also discos, strip joints, standard gay humor, fat white americans, stupid thieves, medical emergency kinda scene etc etc. High time to realize that just good photography, good stars, fancy clothings but not much depth in story dont make good cinema. NRI audience and yuppie South Mumbai Under 25  crowd  might lap up such movies and hare-brained plots but the movie has nothing to offer to anyone. The music by Vishal-Shekhar and background score at times are decent and I did like some of the songs as well especially the Lucky Ali one ‘Hairaat’. But then there were too many songs one after the other in 2nd half.

Watch it for Ranbir Kapoor, the emerging superstar and a good actor too, although needs to choose roles carefully else would be type-caste in certain kinds of roles only. Priyanka needs to control herself, she is in her prime years, should not waste good opportunities to prove herself as better actress then most around.

My Ratings –  4/10 – Avoidable barring Ranbir Kapoor

Which of these year end Bollywood movies would be successful at the Box Office ?

Which of these year end Bollywood movies would be successful at the Box Office?

First of the block is Anjaana Anjaani – Starring Ranbir Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra crisscrossing across American Highways, directed by Siddharth Anand. The films release was pushed back by a week ancipating the ‘Babri’ trial verdict, but now even the verdict has been postponed. Lets see if the film is able to weather this storm and also Rajnikanth’s mega blockbuster Robot (dubbed in Hindi from Tamil original Endhiran) also starring Aishwarya Rai, releases on the same day.

Then there is Aakrosh starring Ajay Devgn and Akshaye Khanna about the ‘honour killing’ issue directed by Priyadarshan. This movie has been postponed till 15th October and is currently battling the Censor Board about the sensitive issue it is tackling. Jhootha Hi Sahi starring John Abraham directed by Abbas Tyrewala releases the same day as well. In between Emraan Hashmi’s Crook about racism problems with Indian students in Australia and Knock Out starring Sanjay Dutt, Irrfan and Kangana Ranaut which seems like inspired from Hollywood movie ‘ Phone Booth’. Then there is Raktha Charitra – I by Ramgopal Verma starring Shatrughan Sinha, Vivek Oberoi and Surya about the noted gangster Paritala Ravi.

Diwali in early November sees two big releases confronting for the box office success. Golmaal -3 stars the usual Golmaal gang of Ajay Devgn, Tushaar Kapoor, Arshad Warsi along with Kareena Kapoor as one of the ‘boys’ this time. This film clashes with Vipul Shah directed Action Replayy starring Akshay Kumar and Aishwarya Rai going back in time with the retro 70s look. 19th November sees Hrithik Roshan as paraplegic with nurse Aishwarya Rai in Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s much awaited Guzaarish. There is also Break ke Baad starring Imran Khan and Deepika Padukone directed by Kunal Kohli

December sees Ashutosh Gowariker’s  Khelein Hum Jee Jan Sey based on Chittagong Mutiny of 1930 starring Abhishek Bachchan and Deepika Padukone. End of December sees probabaly the biggest film of the season Tees Maar Khan directed by Farah Khan starring Akshay Kumar, Akshaye Khanna and Katrina Kaif.

Apart from these big films there are many small films, medium films, art-house films all set to unfurl on the Box office during this end of the year period. Let us see which one amongst them are successful.